I'll spare you, dear readers, the intimate details of my labour and delivery (although some of you were there), but here's the short version: Ethan came fast, and without warning. Aside from some minor back pain the night before, I had zero signs of labour until my contractions hit me like a tidal wave, starting at 2 minutes apart.
It was a mad rush to the hospital. There was no birthing tub or exercise ball or leisurely stroll around the maternity ward. I didn't get a nap or even a snack. I showed up at 3:40 a.m., fully dilated, and was pushing within half an hour. If you're familiar with the mechanics and timeline of childbirth, you'll have concluded by now that I was not given the option of an epidural. Yes, folks-- I, who previously cringed at the mere thought of a routine pap smear, had an entirely natural birth.
Let me be clear that a natural birth was not in my plan. I had not practiced breathing or read about hypnobirthing. I went to one prenatal yoga class and concluded it was boring. I scoffed at those who said that childbirth should be treated as a beautiful experience, one to be felt and treasured. Bring on the drugs, I said.
So I was unprepared. Really, really unprepared. But thanks to the support of my Earth Angel (also known as a doula), my mom, Dave and some truly incredible medical staff, I survived, relatively intact, and delivered a healthy baby boy.
Once I emerged from the haze of pushing out a 7 pound being, I joked that that even though there's no medal for foregoing the epidural, there absolutely should be, because some numbing in the lower half of my body sounded really, really nice. But, alas, there are no winners in the Childbirth Olympics, and kidding aside, that's a good thing.
My labour was rough. It was excruciating, in fact, but it was also over quickly. I didn't have time to be rundown or frustrated or anxious. I never had to be worried about a c-section. I couldn't feel self-conscious or shy. Other women have had long and tiring labours, complicated deliveries, emergency c-sections, painful inductions, you name it. I can't feel superior about what I went through because one thing that should bond all us mamas together is our shared achievement, knowing that regardless of the path our bodies went down on that fateful day, we all have a unique badge to wear.
Unfortunately though, there's a lot of mom-shaming out there, and childbirth is just one aspect of that. Too often, c-sections are treated like the easy way out even though the recovery is long and difficult. Women who get an epidural sometimes feel ashamed if they had hoped to have a natural birth. And, with my circumstances, when I tell people I was only in labour for 5 hours, the response I get is usually "oh, lucky you."
The "lucky me" part is that I had tons of support and my son was born safely. There was nothing lucky about a short labour that I was not ready for, just as there's nothing lucky about undergoing major abdominal surgery or having to lie in an uncomfortable hospital bed for 36 hours while your nether-regions are repeatedly prodded. And, when we say to another woman that her labour sounds nice or we ask if she regrets the epidural or feels less powerful because of her c-section, we are effectively suggesting that our worth is higher, that we have achieved greater heights, that our badges have more shine.
In summary, yes, I wear my natural birth badge with a fair bit of pride and it makes a pretty good story for those who know how incredibly pain-intolerant I am, but I also know I'm not the only warrior mama out there. In other words, if you're a new mom or mom-to-be and you want to trade gory details, I'm your girl-- just be prepared for a loooong play-by-play about how much it hurt to push. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment